if backwards was this written
i would first be falling fast awake into my covers,
curling into fetal position,
toes first, then the petal like arches beneath my feet,
and then my heels press tight against each other,
my knees pull up into my chest,
my body curls, uncurls, and settles,
my mind whirs at the brink of a dream on rewind,
descending into a quiet state,
like my body is wedged between the sun and the ocean.

i am flickering between wakefulness,
and the certain world.
climbing in reverse into the warmth,
letting it surround me,
and asleep, i become, fast and sweet,
and then blinking into consciousness,
the tail end of a prayer,
and the final stanza of a lullaby,
sliding deep into a bridge, a chorus, and the long
and winding piano introduction.

you are there again, more real than ever before,
with your fingers playing all the proper notes
in reverse along ivory keys
and we are doing ethereal
backtracking harmonies through all the
sad songs that we know
‘til the only one that’s left is the sound of
when you say you love me.

and there it’s frozen for what feels like an eternity,
‘til quickly forward fast through time again,
and back into the present.
body curled inside my bed, unfolding
out of sleep,
into the real world.
out of obedience to the insensitivity of time.